No Victory

i am barely human
crawling, screaming
wretched in my one filth
in the mud and shit
on my living room floor

not like a lion
not like an eagle
does or would
but like a fucking pig
a thief
a liar
a rapist
in the closets of my mind

yeah
there are skeletons
and there are open
and bloodied wounds
and yeah
there is you
your whole heart
and your whole soul
laid bare before me

like a college freshman
longing to give herself
to sweaty, lying evil men
to be made clean
through deeds
cloaked in mud

yet
there can be no beauty this way
not in 100 years of covering it up
it will drenched in ugly labor pains
but no victory, never any fucking victory