Fucked

Fucked dozens of women
in dozens of places
dozens of times
in my mind

with a secret currency
in seedy hotels
in upscale hollywood homes
brutalized with pleasure
for me

as my therapist and friends
say its natural
my heart and wife
speak a different language
a language of betrayal
abuse, perversion
and rape

its an ugly world
and i've inherited
an ugly heart

she's/i'm waiting
trusting
that a loving God
will clean up the mess
that i've made

Preserved

to be remembered
as we manipulate and
shift the mundane
into the spectacular
preservation at all costs

as we transmit lies
over the airwaves
lies of our own making that
sheds this red american blood
that never dies
preservation at all costs

as we drive past
the manicured lawns
lined with forgotten graves
we look away
Preservation at all costs