Some Desert City

it feels like a flashback
to my worst nightmare
back when i was in
some desert city

she played electro-pop records
on repeat
and she was getting rid of me

i remember when i left that town
i didn't even say a word to her
i barely remember those days
it seems as if i awoke one morning
and she was gone
i had completely erased her

the next girl i met i married
i switched coasts
then back again

they should have warned her
that she couldn't be saved
from the world i would crush
with my loud mouth

now i just wish we could go back
to late night phone calls
and road trips across the country
because where we are new
feels like another desert city

only there are no somber nights
no religious heritage
just sad eyes and slavery
from which we're trying to break free

Understandings

my childhood melted away
in the sun
in the dramatic heat
and fire
of shouting matches
in living rooms
and hallways
and slammed doors
and burned journals
where the cursed thoughts
of a 15 year old boy
were far too wretched to be noticed

someone forgot to mention
that the people we love the most
don't understand
and are completely
devastated by our pain

how could they understand?
they are buried in their own skin
awaiting their own days and nights
where the people they love
will fully understand their pain

now
that i've dodged the flame
i am here
for freedom's sake
to humbly bow
before the only one
who understands
pain