I Awoke (In a Spider's Grave)

the untouchable lust
of a thing
that is radiantly disappearing
is so clean to me now
and arrested
free of lies
and the understatement
that is the
inhale and the
obligatory exhale
outward into a world
that barely exists
only in frames of time
and passageways onward

but i cannot
be on your side now
as you separate us
from each other
like it's just another
gust of wind
blowing through an open window
the curtains dance
we kiss and it's gone

not the wanting kiss
the kind that signals a fuck
but the kiss that platonic
strangers give, when
engaging in business matters
in the 1950s over dinner
with the threat of nuclear
holocaust looming in the
foreground, as rock n roll
ruined the world forever

no, yesterday i awoke
in a spiders grave
after the tossing and turning
now the flesh will rot
and all i have left
is a memory
of how it was
before i left while
the remorse fades
and i disappear