Untitled in a Bar

the regrettable life
i know you all too well
just like the old friend
who i have disowned

yet you keep coming back
with your charm
and your old jokes
that we used to kick around

but it is always
worst case scenario
with me, and the wife
and the trees

i am waiting for them to burst
for 2012 or something like it
to empty out my heart
when everyone is gone

it started in a small town
migrated to medium sized
cities, and their cousin
gigantic metropolises

but, it never changed
not even the pastures
as they became greener
and my heart became blacker

in the old days
i told everyone to fuck off
and i meant it
i don't regret it

but now, surrounded by
the jovial laughter of
drunk friends, telling their
in authentic jokes

i long for an inkling
of inauthenticity