My Greatest Fear

there are only a few things i know
one of them is that the grass is never greener
the other thing is that one day, i'll die

i believe in Jesus
so paradoxically,
when i go
i'm supposed to believe
that the grass will be evergreen
for eternity

part of me believes
that when i shut my eyes
for the last time
i will go to some place
like Portland, or San Francisco

in all honesty, though
i hope it looks like Valencia St. did
in the late 90's
i hope i can eat Vietnamese food,
drink good wine, and kiss my wife

oh wait, according to the good book
i wont kiss my wife
all of our years together
fighting through blood and sweat
and literally gallons of tears
will be completely meaningless
we will be friends

our love will be forgotten
but maybe we'll embrace
for a few short moments
and remember the drive
from the east to west coast
getting lost in Omaha

making love for the first time
fighting endlessly
making up
and kissing you in the morning
dreaming of houses and sunshine
and gourmet french food

the battles we will have fought,
will by the end
not mean anything at all

now that's just something
i cannot believe