Long Nights Sitting Beside the Vox Organ in Disbelief

i was a boy
with a crack
in his heart
but no longer
now i just wait
in the dark
with a whiskey
in one hand
and a book
in the other
as the years
pass by
without even
a flinch
or, an
"i'm sorry"

now
i
just
wait
for
it
to
end

so
which
will it be?

a book?

or

a life?