Propitiated

like the sickness that chases
and is being chased
by me
i freely
give myself
to the grave
the inevitable
stinking
festering
shit hole
where my heart lives
where the Christs of my life
have wept
like a certainty
of the robbing of heaven
at gun point
with this gaping
hole in my stomach
bleeding this fucking filth
onto the living room floor
as this good news
that you speak
is wrecking
me