Forgiveness?

smile
it's half-full
i'll take an egg,
sunny-side up,
with extra pepper
oh, yeah
i'll take a side
of hash browns
go easy on the salt
will ya?

yeah,
it's true
it's just
me and the kids
these days
he, the father
did a lot of things,
and they were all wrong

he never paid for anything
he never gave anything
he took
and he took
until there was nothing left

we sat in a shitty apartment
with no power for a year
but i look on the bright side
i wake up with a smile
because a smile,
well that's all
i have
oh, and my two boys
who are the most
beautiful animals
i have ever seen.

when i wake in the morning
charlie says, "i love you, mommy."
i say, "i love you, too sugar."

the deadbeat
the dad
the donor
the taker
calls twice a year
to congratulate the boys
on getting older
he gives them
$20 every year
and we all cry
every time we get the call
and we get the money
because it's worthless
and meaningful
and evil

he tells me he's sorry
every six months or so
i tell him that i've forgiven him
but i never have
and i never will
he usually calls me from a bar
after i hang up the phone
i get on my knees
and pray that he drives
home drunk
drives into a tree
and that the impact
lunges his entire body
into the air
and that he's impaled
by a wandering
tree branch

and that nobody calls
to tell us what happened
but that we just stop getting
the calls
and we stop getting
the money
and that i never have to
lie and say, "i forgive you"
ever again